


Handy things to take off world

by Indiana_Jackson



Category: Stargate SG-1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-21 22:54:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17651384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indiana_Jackson/pseuds/Indiana_Jackson
Summary: The Colonel posts a list of handy little combat helpers





	Handy things to take off world

**Author's Note:**

> *its better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it-murphy's law.*
> 
> feel free to message with more ideas or use them in your own stories :)
> 
> numbers 12 through 15 were graciously supplied by a reviewer named Janice. on fanfiction:)
> 
> she suggested adding a few things not found in most kits for other people to consider

Colonel Jack O'Neill  walked into the nearly empty commissary with a sheaf of brightly colored papers clutched in one hand. He walked to each table and dropped a paper or two on eachone, then taped one up on the wall by the door, before strolling back out. He taped one up at each corridor junction and scattered them about the hallways. He started whistling a jaunty tune as he passed a sour faced colleague. He winked and said "read it and weep."

ole' sour face ripped one off the wall and stomped up to General's Hammond's office. They stormed in and threw the paper on his desk. "Have you seen this? Its against the rules! Colonel O'Neill cannot post these!"

Hammond scanned the page and roared with laughter. "There's nothing wrong with this list, in fact, I should make them mandatory."

1:duct tape- for when it shouldn't move, but does.

2: WD-40- for when it should move, but doesn't.

3:Sex lube- for when something is  _really_  stuck.

4:tampons- besides the obvious use, great for plugging bullet holes

5:extra large garbage bags- handy dandy rain poncho in a pinch,

filled with leaves it makes a good pillow or mattress. Filled with snow and left to melt, you get a bag of drinking/bath water.

6:flesh needle and fishing line- stitching a teammate or villager up

7:chocolate bars-when in doubt, follow Dr Jackson and hand them out to natives. ( also pray it doesn't kill them.)

8:instant oatmeal, unflavored-just add water for a handy burn poultice

_*bread and milk works too, but what combat team carries a jug of milk and a loaf of bread?*_

9: Needle nose Pliers- you would be surprised what a creative mind can do with these

10:a small tarp- they roll small and you can make a lean-to or a stretcher for wounded out of it with two saplings.

11:a good bit of rope: millions of uses, whatever you can imagine really.

**12\. un-lubed condom: compact, light weight, instant water-proof container/water vessel.**

**13\. small pencil sharpener: makes fine kindling/shavings as well as forming wooden nails from twigs.**

**Char the end of one and you have an emergency pencil.**

**14\. nine volt battery and steel wool: fast foolproof fire starter (do not pack together!)**

**15\. dental floss: more versatile than fishing line and doesn't stretch.**

_*(see item #6 , maybe pack both, fishing line and a flesh needle can be used to catch fish when stranded and hungry. just gotta bend the needle)*_

_16:_ paper clips ( colored or plain): makes a good fishhook if you stretch it out.

17: military poncho. Preferably the nylon one, as it saves weight.:  
Ground cloth, Tarp, Sleeping bag, Stretcher, Water hauler, Raft, Sunshade, Pillow, Pack

18: Chapstick: Firestarter material. wipe on something burnable, and light 'em up.

Easy to carry, clean to use, can be used as originally intended and looks very innocent.

19:Super glue: can be used as stitches, either on cloth or your skin.

( I am talking about minor cuts, not gaping wounds)


End file.
